LPT Complementing people who are bad at accepting praise

 A lot of people who struggle to accept praise (due to shyness, low self esteem, cultural emphasis on humility, etc) - tend to downplay their contributions as "no big deal", "just doing what anyone would do", and/or not as good as what others could do.

So instead of focusing my praise on their efforts, which can always be downplayed or compared unfavorably to others, I focus on the effect their work has on me.

"Hey, thanks for putting together that spreadsheet - having all the information clearly laid out like that saved me a ton of time and stress."

"Thank you for looking after my dog while I'm out of town - I always feel better knowing he's in safe hands, and I know he's much happier with you than he would be at a boarding facility."

"I love that painting you did! It reminds me of the camping trips I used to go on with my dad. Seeing it always makes my day."

That way, if they do still try to downplay it as nothing special, I just shrug and let them know that, regardless, it had a positive impact on me and I appreciate it.

Because, yeah, sure, maybe it didn't take much effort. Maybe anyone else would've done the same thing. And statistically speaking, there's probably somebody in the world who could've done it better. But here's the thing - no one else did do it. They did. And at the end of the day, that's all that really matters.

LPT: The Art of the Artful Compliment: Unlocking Smiles in Praise-Averse People

We all know someone who deflects compliments like a seasoned goalie deflects pucks. A simple "you look nice" is met with a dismissive "eh, this old thing?" Praising their work elicits a mumbled "it was nothing." While frustrating, there are ways to navigate the tricky terrain of complimenting people uncomfortable with praise.

Here are some tips to unlock genuine smiles and boost their confidence:

Shift the Focus:

• Highlight the Effort: Instead of praising the outcome, acknowledge the work put in. "You put a lot of thought into that presentation, it really showed!" This focuses on the process, something they have control over, and validates their effort.
• Appreciate the Impact: Focus on how their work or actions positively affect you or others. "Your positive attitude makes coming to work so much better!" This emphasizes the value they bring to the environment.
• Celebrate Collaboration: If praising a group effort, single out their specific contribution. "I loved how you streamlined the process in your part of the project." This acknowledges their individual value within the team.

Make it Specific:

Generic compliments can feel impersonal. Specifying what you admire makes it more genuine. Instead of "good job," say "I was particularly impressed by how you handled the client's concerns." Specificity shows you were paying attention and appreciate the finer details.

Ask a Question:

• Curiosity, not Judgment: "That report was so well-organized, can you tell me how you structured it?" This transforms a compliment into an invitation to share their knowledge, boosting their confidence and opening a conversation.
• Shift the Focus: "That outfit looks great, where did you get those earrings?" Redirect the attention to a specific aspect of their appearance they might be more comfortable with.

Respect Their Boundaries:

• Read the Room: If they seem uncomfortable with the compliment, acknowledge it. "Hey, no need to be shy, you did a great job!" can be a gentle prod, but be prepared to back off if they seem flustered.
• Lead by Example: Compliment others freely (without being excessive), creating a culture of open appreciation. This can normalize praise and make them more comfortable receiving it.

Remember:

• Positive Reinforcement: Sincere compliments can build confidence and self-esteem. By acknowledging their strengths, you encourage them to flourish.
• It's Not About You: The goal isn't to get a grateful response; it's to uplift and encourage the person. Focus on their reaction, not your validation.

Complimenting someone who struggles with praise can be a dance. By shifting the focus, making it specific, and respecting their boundaries, you can bridge the gap and unlock a genuine smile. Remember, a well-placed compliment can have a lasting impact, leaving them feeling valued and appreciated.